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내 이름: 타우 가을 명월 예쁘지? ㅋㅋㅋ ~~~

이 사진이 내 언니의 아기 ^^ 귀엽지? 이름은 진짜 가을, 영어로 ^^ 그리고 명월 - 몽어로 <3
Autumn Qaim Hli <3

내 이름: 타우 가을 명월
예쁘지? ㅋㅋㅋ ~~~

이 사진이 내 언니의 아기 ^^ 귀엽지? 이름은 진짜 가을, 영어로 ^^ 그리고 명월 - 몽어로 <3

Autumn Qaim Hli <3

The waves keep rolling in..

I’ve never felt so much disappointment with myself before. The night she disappeared I had a dream that a good friend of mine drowned. I never really saw the friend’s face, nor found out who it truly was in my dream. 

I’m going through this phase where I keep telling myself that I was such a horrible friend. And I’m starting to believe it. I don’t have many close friends. But I also have this habit of pushing people away, where I just need to be alone, not contacting anyone for a while, though I know they are there. I guess we just always assume that they will ALWAYS be there. Was I wrong. 

I miss her. We had a huge fight when we were in high school. Naive and young. But we eventually got over it and our relationship went back to normal. But now that she’s gone, I keep asking myself “Were we really back to normal?” There seems to be a void. Something that tells me, she never really forgave me. And for that, I am beyond words of sorry and regret. 

Her funeral is in a week. I will be in town for it. I truly loved her as a sister. Even now, I can’t accept the fact that she is gone. I keep telling myself that it was a cruel joke and she’ll come back with a bright smile on her face and say that she is okay. 

In fact, my dreams tend to be extremely vivid, like films, but the night I found out about her death, she came to me in a dream, a very blurry dream, and we sat down as if we were doing an interview. But she told me, she told me not to worry and that she was alright. Ah, but my dear friend, never wanted people to worry. She never complained. That was just who she was. 

And I miss her <3 

내 친구가 돌아가셨을 때, 한번 “In Heaven”를 들으면 … 그 가사가 얼마나 사실 생각하고 있다. 친구야, 보고싶어 <3 친구의 가족 힘내자~ #inheaven, #jyj

This song was said to be written for the late Park Yong-Ha by Kim Jaejoong. They were good friends and it was unexpected of PYH to commit suicide at such a young age. No one really knew his troubles. Much the same of my dear friend who also took her own life just a few days ago. I dedicate this song to her in hopes that my heart will gather it’s pieces together and be whole again, while her soul may rest in peace and happiness <3 I love you friend and miss you with all my heart <3 

Watch the video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcecmEa0NEg

I’m going to leave now
Don’t leave
I’m going to come back so…
Liar, liar
No- don’t you know how much I love you?
Can’t you show that love to me right now?
I love you…
Can’t we love again?

As of right now, I can’t say anything
The miracle of you- it all seems like a fantasy
The last image of you seems to be locked only in my memories
I wonder if you are watching me from somewhere
Even if I regret, it’s too late- I can’t see you anymore
The tears of the shadows of my memories are watching over that place

I can’t say those words, I really can’t- as much as you were by my side
I’m sorry but I can’t- everything comes shaking back to me now
By waiting a little more, by wandering through my dreams
I’m afraid I will close my eyes inside of you

* Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay by my side?
Lies, all lies- I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me those words?
I love you, I love you- will you love me again?

Time already passed like this
I try looking for your traces but they are erased
The last memories of you are locked in the rims of my tears

Just end it, end me- if you’re not going to be next to me
I’m sorry but I’ll leave now- following your footsteps
Following the road with no end- as I wander to find you
I’m afraid I will lose you and be sad

* repeat

Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay?
Lies, lies, I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me?
Can’t you love me, love me, love me?
Don’t leave, don’t leave- can’t you stay?
Lies, lies, I don’t hear anything
I love you, I love you- can’t you show me?
Please come back

* repeat

lyrics credit :: pinkrazy@wordpress 

Next music video project? ;) most likely ^^ 

*Angel and Woodman* - FT Island

Like an angel, you are blinding to my eyes.
Like walking on clouds, you walk so lightly.
You came down from the Heavens, where you were punished
and was caught in my eyes. This feeling like my heart stopped beating
I want to hold onto it forever.
Secretly peaking at you from behind,
I am a woodman.
You’re my only angel, a gift sent from the Heavens
I pray that the two of us live happily ever after
You are my only love. I will always make you laugh.
I hope that you forget about the Heavens above.

Don’t be sad
My heart is nervous that you might leave
My love must be lacking
Anything you want, I can do anything for you
You live watching me, I’m a woodman

Even as the days go by
my love does not change.
Until the moment I close my eyes, I will look only at you.
You are my angel, my one and only love.
I hope the two of us live happily
You are my love, I’ll never make you cry
So please live here with me.
I love you.
I am going to hide your wings forever.

Pieces of me.

I miss the good ol’ days. I miss being a crybaby and being able to cry that shit out! I hate being an adult and “holding” shit in. Being the “bigger person” and stepping down, letting all the assholes get their way in life. fuck that shit. I just wanna kick and scream! And if the world thinks I’m a bitch then so be it. I just wanna tell the world to shut the fuck up for a second and listen to the peace of tranquility. God, I need some religion. <— Ironic much? . No . I need a car so I can escape. I need somewhere to escape to. Maybe I’m getting old. I need the feel of human touch. I like that feeling. I was born a crybaby who needed someone to hold me to feel a sense of security. I’m still like that, minus the crybaby part. I like human touch. I like the feel of warmth and comfort. I like the feel of being loved. I want to be loved. 

I fell in love today ……


With Joseph Vincent. =) .. Couldn’t be helped… the man is a stud, has a voice that melts hearts, and plays guitar. That’s all I ask for in a man. lol. Well, not really xD

I’ve always had this passion for learning a string instrument. And for YEARS now, I’ve always wanted a “gayageum” or also known as a “guzheng”, 21 string instrument from Asia =) .. and I’ve decided that I’m going to save up to get one! ^^ and teach myself. And this will be the first song I learn =) …

maybe hehe.

Please just stop. I am so tired of hearing your bickering. Do you even REALIZE that you don’t sound nice? Is that how you want me to hear it? I don’t understand how everyone else can hear it that way. I don’t understand how everyone can think that you are so sweet and nice and innocent when honestly, you aren’t. You aren’t. And do you realize that I already have so much going on, so much killing my will power, my optimism, my hope, and that every little thing you do, the nagging, bickering, just adds on? Do you know that? Do you know that we are not all built the same way? That my soul is emotional, that it fears and becomes weak easily? Did you know that my heart sighs a thousand times a day and sheds tears of unwanted hate? Did you know? Do you know? …

Do you even care?

Fell in Love with this song today =) Loving Huh Gak, Junhyung, Lee Hyunjin, and Kang Sora <3 <3 <3  LOVE LOVE LOVE! =) 

Hello - Huh Gak

We can’t break up- It’s too early for separation for us
You can’t just leave me like this
There’s so much that I didn’t say yet
Please don’t leave me like this

Because it’s you, I’m-
Because it was you, I-
I can’t go on like this
The reason I live is only you
Please don’t leave me

You are my love, my love that I long for
You’re the person that used to love me
Now I can’t touch you but
Will you long for me as much as I long for you?
The person that I loved crazily, hello hello

Because I loved you, I’m-
Because I really loved you, I’m-
Suffering to the point of death, to the point of death
Can you see me dying and not alive?
Please come back to me

You are my love, my love that I long for
You’re the person that used to love me
Now I can’t touch you but
Will you long for me as much as I long for you?
The person that I loved crazily

If it was going to end like this
If this is really the end
I want to go back to the time when we didn’t know each other
If it’s too late, if it’s too late
I think I’ll finish myself because living is too hard (x2)

(lyrics credit: snsdlyrics.wordpress.com)